Tuesday, 13 January 2015

Out of the Broom Closet and onto The Fire.

Out of the Broom Closet and onto The Fire.
I'm a witch

Merry meet, Ok so decided it's about time to be me, not hide behind masks and pretence and just embrace and be happy..  Especially as I'm now 26.. and well living my own life so to speak.  So where to start...

I first got interested in just feeling something magical a certain energy when I was a child visiting Stonehenge.  I remember squirrels and seeing my first bat in the day time (two of three animals which have always stuck with me through out my life).  I was quite young when this happened possibly even just 3 or 4 years of age but I remember the feeling.

Growing up I loved watching archaeology and anything old world.  When I was 6 I moved to the Antique Shop town of Horncastle in Lincolnshire and loved just looking around them at all the things and the stories they must share and where they came from, the history, how did they end up here?

I moved away when I was about 12/13 and did miss them.  When I was about 14/15 I got interested in "ghosts", spiritual activity.  As a child I'd had an imaginary friend called Susanne, though to this day I swear that little blonde curly haired Victorian girl was real.. she was only in the one house and never outside the house...  She would do things I would get in trouble for and I knew I hadn't done them, it was her...  But she was there from as far as I could remember and up until I was 6 and moved away.  ...But as I was saying when I was 14/15 I took an interest in this.. my online studies took me to looking at a lot of Witchie, Pagan, Wicca...  stuff at the time.  And while I'd always believed in a certain type of magic.. I often felt I'd be stupid for sharing these ideas with anyone else and very much kept them to myself.    But as my studies continued at that age I was printing out and making notes of anything that fascinated me.  I'd always had a secret love for what books and film ideals of Pagans, Maidens, Mages, Druids, erm.. perhaps more like L.A.R.P wenches, witches... or D&D.   And furthering that gypsies like the fortune telling kind or the kind with trinkets, charms, lucky heather and brightly colours clothes with a lot of drapery fabric.. sashes and scarves.  Next thing I've actually, and with out realising, got a book of shadows!!  A black folder with a pentacle drawn in silver marker on the front and page after page after page of history ranging from Salem Witch Trials through to candle uses and herbs.. feng sui and superstition..  Paganism..  Merlin (Camelot and the knights of the round table), Glastonbury...  Potions, Spells...  Fae Folk, Fairies.. you name it it was in the book (folder). 

I decided, to let a friend in on my finds and tell her that I was really interested in this spiritual way of life and following this good path with Deity (God and Goddess) and the Elements.  She found it rather hard to swallow.  Next thing I know she brings a Ouiji Board round to my house, which just felt wrong.  She's drawing upside down crosses on everything.  Cursing pennies and giving them to people she didn't like or banishing spirits with them.  Around the same time my Grandma had bought me my first tarot card deck as I was getting more and more intrigued in seeing the good, in nature and the elements and in purity and doing good deeds despite my hormonal rampages of just been such a difficult teenager but I was going through a lot of emotional stress with my past.  I digress anyway next thing I know my friend was getting weirder..  I told her I didn't like these things and she told my Mum I was worshipping the devil and well things didn't go too well after that.

I had lived briefly on the Isle of Sky when I was 15 and loved the magical feeling, some of the places we visited, the beaches and some of the history of the Fae Folk.  BUT it wasn't for me.. I missed home (Scunthorpe since being 12) and what friends I had.  Though I ended up moving to my Dads as my Mum moved here and I didn't want too but I did spend the summer at Mums.

Soon enough I put the book (folder) away.  And started finding interests in other things.

But after a very short while of moving back to Horncastle, to go live with my Dad.  I was 15 and just looking around the antique shops perked my interests.  I purchased a brass sun and moon candle holder, a brass mortar and pestle, some books on spells, various coloured candles, a large jewellery box I kept secrets in, some varying glass wear, trinkets, a lot of glass bottles, incense and burners.. boxes that looked like books and coasters too and anything with a Sun (God) and Moon (Goddess) on it, pentacle (or pentagram to most people) or ying yang.  and well soon enough I had a collection of oldy wordly things which individually looked like interesting decor but together made up a rather nice secret altar.  I had the internet and a lot stored secretly on floppy disk drives... and my interests grew.. I started following a more Pagan path and spiritual ideals.  Of course keeping this a secret from everyone.  After a few months circumstances changed and I had to move away to my Grandmothers.  There I kept my interests and study but not so much my practice.

Over the up coming years between friends, family, school, college, social life, jobs.. and well just general life while I held my beliefs I spoke to none about them.  I went about my normal life and forgot about what become my shoe box altar.  Being solitary at that point was hard but even harder not to talk about what I felt.  I started studying bits and pieces from other religions and spiritual beliefs.  

I moved to my Mums and away again and well all over really.  Things got broke, things got lost, things got wrecked when our house was knocked down but all our stuff was still inside.  Things got demolished in bad weather up on the Isle of Lewis or eaten by rats/mice when we put our stuff into storage.  And at the age of 21 I ended up starting over with nothing but my knowledge and memories and beliefs in London.

I started a relationship with someone who I felt (for the best part of 4 years) completed me, but even he wouldn't understand this path and journey and beliefs..  So I never told him.  We lived in Ealing West London, Mevagissey in Cornwall and eventually Barnsley in South Yorkshire.  So secretly I studied.  Obtained a few basic shoe box items, grew some herbs and took an interest in herbs for medicinal uses as well as culinary and I had my own art/craft room where I often wasn't disturbed so this made a great secret spot.  And well it went from there.

Last year just after I'd turned 25, the fiance and I split up.  I came to live in a flat share with my brother in Blackpool - which by the time I was 26 I was back living with my Mum due to circumstance.  But I'd decided in being disabled from an accident 3-4 years ago, single, little to no social life, all my friends being online and not many people to judge me that I'd re-embark on finding myself, finding my spirituality and slowly growing my shoe box altar, my interests.  By the time I was 26 (which is just under a month ago) I had decided to name my belief into a much more Eclectic Wiccan path.  (or Wicca).  I'd lost my first tarot deck some time ago but the Osho Zen one is working out well for me and has for a good while now along side my pendulum.  

On the 28th of December (8 days after my 26th Birthday) I decided to re-embark on my A Year and A Day.  Refocus my energies and start being more true.  

In early January I decided it was time to tell a few people who were close to me.  So I told my Mum about me being spiritual and following the path of Wicca, to which she said.  "So you're back on the Vodka again? And what the possing hell has baskets got to do with anything?" - I think she was trying to be funny.  My brother ignored me.  My StepDad had nothing to say except raised his eyebrows and my Sister thought it was cool.  (but she's 10 and today she decided OneDirection is cool...) I told some friends, some have stopped talking to me BUT their loss not mine.

I now have an altar in a display cabinet in my room, collecting additional pieces for it.  And study daily.  I'm really getting into semi precious stones and their healing uses as well as other things.  Herbs for incense.  And well we'll see how things go.  I also joined an amazing facebook group family.  Who have all been oh so very welcoming, kind, sharing and it's wonderful to be a part of that.  It's nice while I'm happy being Solitary, it's lovely to have like minded people to talk too.

So that's me for now.. Out the Broom Closet and onto The Fire.
)O( Blessed Be, Imogen xX

Ps. Before you get any judgemental and crazy ideas...  I suggest you read this: http://www.witchcraft.com.au/ 
Pps. If you think you might be interested in this path but don't know where to start read this:  http://wicca.com/celtic/wicca/howto.htm 

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